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War on Terror Alert: Exploding Breasts

Bin Laden Will Kill You With This: FACT

Be afraid, be very afraid. The paragon of quality journalism, The Sun of London breaks the story of the latest dastardly Al Qa'eda plot --- "Radicals' Deadly 'Booby-Trap'":

FEMALE suicide bombers are being fitted with exploding breast implants which are almost impossible to detect, British spies have reportedly discovered.

The shocking new al-Qaeda tactic involves radical doctors inserting the explosives in women's breasts during plastic surgery — making them "virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines".

It is believed the doctors have been trained at some of Britain's leading teaching hospitals before returning to their own countries to perform the surgical procedures.

MI5 has also discovered that extremists are inserting the explosives into the buttocks of some male suicide bombers.

Terrorist expert Joseph Farah [FUN FACT: "Farah is among those who have questioned whether Barack Obama is a natural born citizen of the United States and is consequently eligible to serve as U.S. President."] claims: "Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaeda are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery."

The lethal explosives called PETN are inserted inside plastic shapes during the operation, before the breast is then sewn up.

The discovery of these methods was made after London-educated Nigerian Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab came close to blowing up an airliner in the US on Christmas Day.

He had stuffed explosives inside his underpants.

Hours after he had failed, Britain's intelligence services began to pick up "chatter" emanating from Pakistan and Yemen that alerted MI5 to the creation of the lethal implants.

A hand-picked team investigated the threat which was described as "one that can circumvent our defence".

Top surgeons have confirmed the feasibility of the explosive implants.

One claimed: "Properly inserted the implant would be virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines.

"You would need to subject a suspect to a sophisticated X-ray.

"Given that the explosive would be inserted in a sealed plastic sachet, and would be a small amount, would make it all the more impossible to spot it with the usual body scanner."

Explosive experts allegedly told MI5 that a sachet containing as little as five ounces of PETN could blow "a considerable hole" in an airline's skin, causing it to crash.

Reader Comments (12)

January 23, 2011

GAZA (AP) - A sinister plot has been thwarted today by Hamas officials. It appears oversexed male members of the Izz ad-Din al-Qassam Brigades have been persuading their wives and girlfriends to get breast implants by telling them that the implants will be used to explode "thousands of Westerners". Hamas women have naturally been excitedly lining up by the hundreds to receive the implants, sometimes resulting in waiting times of over two months to see "approved" plastic surgeons. However, upon receiving the implants, the women have been surprised to find themselves given a litany of excuses as to why they cannot be on the front lines, and are told that their services are needed much more urgently on the homefront.

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKevin Scott

You left the best parts out - the Sun's own title (Radicals' deadly 'booby trap') and their photo of the ticking time bomb *wrist watch* inside the implant!
Everyone, see the first link link in the post.

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

That is a truly superb photo Catherine. I love how one of the Sun's commenters felt the need to point out, "That picture is photoshopped."

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike Dunn


Unfortunately, The Sun considers the "photo" so precious that they have copyright-protected it on their page, preventing dissemination of this tribute to diligent photo-journalism.


March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScott Lucas

Even worse, the Sun will probably soon join the Times and start charging for content, meaning we'll all have to pay £1 to even see these stories.

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike Dunn

Every cloud has a silver lining. This new development is going to revitalise the airport security job market with the creation of the job of booby detector.

"Excuse me ma'am, those are awfully big, I'll just have to make sure they're not explosives ma'am... Trust me, I'm a professional."

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

Scott (4),
Understandable, after all the time and effort put into 'shopping' it - it's now a unique item of "intellectual property"! :-)

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

Tony Blair's favorite slogan "boom and bust" comes to mind.

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDave

Scott, Catherine and Mike,

Much enjoyed your competent discussion on this issue ;-)
Tomorrow's Farce News reply will probably read: "Imperialistic media to insult Islamic virtues again" In an attempt of slander the British yellow press has started a new campaign against the esteem of Islamic women, claiming that female volunteers for martyrdom are furnished with explosive pectoral implants, “virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines”. Farce News strongly condemns these false allegations by the arrogant Western press, well known for constant diffusion of lies and immorality. Hands off our Islamic Sisters' namoos (honour)!

Wait and see :-)


March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArshama

i was thinking of sending over for a mail order bride but on the insistence shes already been through the implant op. im sure it would be handy for the winter months. it would be a blast.

March 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteranthony

I guess that automatically puts all women on the no-fly list!

March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZahir

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December 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjmydai jmydai

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